There was only one thing for it and that was to meet at the pub in Cockfosters for a pint before the game, the thought of it now still makes me shudder. So up and out into another glorious day for non league football. I was fully expecting to be bathed in snow rather than blue skys and sunshine by the time this trip came round so was pleasantly surprised.
By the time we got to Finsbury Park the fresh air and stroll had done me good and the atmosphere was building.
By the time we got to Finsbury Park the fresh air and stroll had done me good and the atmosphere was building.
 |
| Atmosphere |
When we arrived at Cockfosters and met up with the waiting scout (or should that be Scott - boom boom) party the iphone owning group members procede to pull out their iphone and declare they would have us at the Cock and Dragon pub in no time. We could be found, about 20mins later, wandering through a dead end housing estate looking befuddled and declaring 'it must be here google says so'. To our rescue came an old man with no teeth who kindly told us it was behind us. I had a hangover to blame unlike the iphone brigade.
The Cock and Dragon was pretty good shame Arsenal won especially as I could see Scott and Al high fiving at the bar when RVP scored as they both had him in their dream team, w@nkers.
 |
| No it's not on a hill I just can't use a camera |
Now onto the important stuff Cockfosters vs Hoddesdon.
 |
| Quality |
 |
| Prematch refreshments in the clubhouse |
Arrived just in time for a pint in the clubhouse, pretty sparce but welcoming and the Terry Nutkins look a like doing the bar was quick to serve and cheery enough. Pint down and out to pick up a programme and pay our entry in. The 'mature' student lurking in our depths managed to get concessional entry at £2. The rest of us coughed up £4 to the man in the entry booth.
The booth fascinated me. Do they make these booths specifically for this purpose as I can't see it be of any use as a shed or anything? Footballentrybooths.com? What real purpose does it serve that an umbrella doesn't? Does the man sleep in there cause he looks like he does? There is no barrier so why do we inherently stop at it? I often think when I die I will be able to ask these type of questions to some supreme being, I have a long list, (s)he's going to have a long day when I get to the otherworld...
 |
| The love shack |
We walked out underneath the stand but as we were getting looks of 'who the f*** are these guys' we sidled down to the end. Now the group were of 2 camps on this matter either
A they just plain didn't like these new people or
B they thought we were of Hoddesdon persuasion.
Either way we thought it best to lurk at the end and take our positions against the rail.
A they just plain didn't like these new people or
B they thought we were of Hoddesdon persuasion.
Either way we thought it best to lurk at the end and take our positions against the rail.
 |
| Nice wee ground. |
The game kicked off in blazing sunshine and we all commented on the fact that the intensity of the game was noticably higher than our trip to Hinton. Tackles were thick and fast and play more scrappy and although there were 2 red cards in our previous game it somehow felt more edgy. Both teams looked capable of scoring but Cockfosters were definitely shading it and winning more 50:50 balls. After 10 mins they went a ahead through Pigden who rose best to nod in a cross.
Hoddesdon dropped their heads after the goal and the second wasn't long coming Pigden again scoring this time with a sublime chip from the edge of the area. One touch and then a dinky lob beautifully into the net. I felt like a goal fest was in the offing and only for a few fine saves from the Hoddesdon keeper Cockfosters could have went in 4 to the good. As it was half time score 2-0.
Hot food available woohoo. Culinary expert 'S' will be the taste tester for each ground from now on so we have a level playing field to judge the nosh on. Pies, being the traditional food of choice, will take prioroty but in such case as a pie is not available a burger wil be substituted, as was the case today. Food will be rated out of 5 stars. 1 being poor, 2 being average 3 being good 4 being very good and 5 being excellent.
First burger of the whole experience scored a 3. The burger consisted of patty, fake cheese, ketchup and bun. Subject S praised it for it's geneal meatiness but the lack of additional fillers dragged it down. On a side note the burger lady was one of the nicest people we met.
 |
| Keeper had a pretty relaxed first half |
Hot food available woohoo. Culinary expert 'S' will be the taste tester for each ground from now on so we have a level playing field to judge the nosh on. Pies, being the traditional food of choice, will take prioroty but in such case as a pie is not available a burger wil be substituted, as was the case today. Food will be rated out of 5 stars. 1 being poor, 2 being average 3 being good 4 being very good and 5 being excellent.
 |
| Subject A |
 |
| The Guinea Pig |
First burger of the whole experience scored a 3. The burger consisted of patty, fake cheese, ketchup and bun. Subject S praised it for it's geneal meatiness but the lack of additional fillers dragged it down. On a side note the burger lady was one of the nicest people we met.
To be honest not much to say about the second half as nowt much happened. Things got a bit more scrappy and I don't remeber much chances for either team. Cockfosters probabed edged it but it was a much more even affair.
During the lull in excitment we did however notice a few things:
 |
| The Highlight Of The 2nd Half...geddit? |
- No 9 was a tank, literally a tank and he stalked the pitch like he knew it. That said he had a surprisingly deft touch and no hint of the Roy Keane. I would call him a gentle giant but he still scares the 'digested food resin' out of me.
- It was cold.
- None of the players were wearing gloves despite previous comment. Mental note made to watch out for which league 'jessyism' (the art of wearing gloves beacuse you might ctach a coldy woldy while playing) is first spotted.
- There was more hoofing of the ball over our head or onto the adjacent road. Overheard comment: 'It's a wonder no one gets killed when the ball goes on that road'
- Portable bags for descreet public urination are not a public topic of conversation even if you have came up with the name 'urine it to win it'.
- The chairman was out watching and could not have been more of a stereotype. Cigar, check, trench coat check, fedora hat check.
2-0 the final score. So back to the bar for a last pint and get our photo taken with the match summary card. Basically in a few words good first half rubbish second half. A final word of advise when writing out the match summary make sure you put something underneath the bit of paper you are writing on particualy when writing the first 4 letters of Cockfosters in permanent marker otherwise it just looks like you are writing COCK over the programme/table/your hand, people seem to frown at this.
Next stop Molten Spartan South Midlands Premir League Division 10th December.
Next stop Molten Spartan South Midlands Premir League Division 10th December.
Ticket price - £4 - £2 for dirty students
Beer Price - Pint IPA £2.50
Burger/Pie Price - £2.50 (+30p for cheese). 3/5 star rating.
Crowd - 53.
Score 2-0 Home Win
Scorers - Pigden 10' 14'
Facilities
Bar - Yes 5/10
Food - Yes
Stand - Yes - about 30 seats on one side remaining pitch perimeter surrounded with rail
Programme - Yes £1 - good in-depth knowledge, lots of adverts for coffee shops.
Fanzine - No
Club Shop - No
Hospitality - No - possibily guests invited into committee room but we weren't special enough to find out.
Ahh, the memories! Can't wait till the next game and then reading the next witty and insightful instalment, complete with more football phrases than an Anfield full of Alan Hansens. We surely are displaying 'passion, commitment and a phenomenal work rate' in our cause.
ReplyDelete